The Road

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The Road Empty The Road

Post by Ever on Thu Mar 03, 2011 10:50 pm

The Road


Theyve been following the boy and his father for months, creeping through the blackened night. Watching and waiting, on the dark pale foreshore. Just out of sight of the two figures.
Over the months, they had been watching the boy, waiting for his decrepit father to pass on. The two had not moved for days. The only trivial sign of movement came from the child.
Something was definitely wrong.
The shady figures watching the young man, walked back to the road, its black shape running from dark to dark. Then a distant low rumble. Not thunder. You could feel it under your feet. A sound without cognate and so without description.

We need to make a decision now.
What for?
This child cannot be left alone.
It is necessary, he will just become another burden, we cant handle another.
Why not?
There is no hope for humankind, regardless of the warmth and kindness we can give.
Were damned to walk this world evermore.

The shady figures, trudge down the scalded road, the endless whirlpool descending into the horizon. Ash still cascades toward the dying planet, like snow in a lifeless winter.
As they walked down the endless dark, they falter upon a lone man, holding a switchblade, yet naked and quivering with both fear and the astringent cold.

Who are you? What do you want?
We are nobody, just like you.
Give me your clothes and your food.
No.
Let us pass.
Give me your clothes, or die.
We have come too far to let our fulfilments fall away.I must refuse to renounce my integrity.We stand in defiance to your ethics.

A bulky yet skeletal creature emerges from behind the man and his companions. Grinning and showing its feral teeth, with a low bellowing snarl. The terrified naked man rapidly backed away and vanished into the portentous dark.
The mysterious group continued on down the road, knowing the man would surely die.
Morning arose, the sun imperceptible behind the surging mass of ash.
The child, sitting alone on the deserted lifeless beach looking out over the greying ocean: the impassable nothing.

Hours pass he finally moves from his spot on the lonesome foreshore, surrounded by the constant and placid rolling of waves reaching the bank. It is somewhat serene but you can never stay in the one spot, danger is always lurking around the very corner.
The child tentatively walks back up to his camp. Refusing to leave his deceased father behind, the boy is dreaming of a world that no longer exists. Bitter and unaided, he puts what he can into his backpack. One of the unseen figures is observing him secure and unseen behind a fallen willow tree. He has one can of food left; soon the boy will starve to death.
He gathers his belongings and continues down the barren foreshore reaching the edge of the road. Continuing south, like his father set out doing, his Mecca, his only hope of survival.
Gradually, a murky low lying smog forms over the failing landscape, the unknown figures keep at a distance behind the boy, just enough so they are hidden from the boy.

Why should we sit back and watch him die?
He cant be helped
Yes he can. He needs food.
We dont have any to give.
Are you some kind of animal? The boy is starving.

The figure looks away and continues walking; his companions soon follow, through the boundless smog, venturing from nothing to nothing, horizon to horizon. Walking for the sake of walking, the world is dead.

If there was a god, they would not convey this doom upon humankind.

There is nothing left, this world is just. An endless path of grey and black, melding together in a whirlpool of nonentity.

We will not take the child with us?
No, there is no hope no matter what we do.
We will all die. No point in prolonging his fate.

And so, through the perpetually thickening smog they walk. A shrieking noise, like a bone snapping screech more trees topple to the earth. The ominous figures make their way past the boy, moments later looking up, he believes he saw something. It was too late, the figures vanish into the nothing.
The boy is left alone and cold, devoid of hope.

By Ever Jade Ruggiero


Last edited by Ever on Mon Mar 07, 2011 9:18 pm; edited 2 times in total
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The Road Empty Re: The Road

Post by ZxSasukeZ on Fri Mar 04, 2011 5:56 am

So cool and i love the ending xD
well done Ever~
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The Road Empty Re: The Road

Post by odsmk on Fri Mar 04, 2011 7:27 am

Yay, literature land is being used! Very Happy
A few small grammatical/punctuational mistakes, but otherwise the feel and vocabulary is good.
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The Road Empty Re: The Road

Post by Ever on Fri Mar 04, 2011 7:42 am

odsmk wrote:Yay, literature land is being used! Very Happy
A few small grammatical/punctuational mistakes, but otherwise the feel and vocabulary is good.


I know that there is missing commas etc, but that's the effect Smile its supposed to be that way n_n

but thank-you very much luke n_n, i'm glad you like it Very Happy
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The Road Empty Re: The Road

Post by Sander on Fri Mar 04, 2011 9:19 am

This. Is. Awesome.

And sad. But still awesome. So many questions though D:
What happened? How did this world came to be? What are the figures? Ghosts? Demons?

Write more stories plox :3

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The Road Empty Re: The Road

Post by Ever on Fri Mar 04, 2011 9:40 am

SirPali wrote:This. Is. Awesome.

And sad. But still awesome. So many questions though D:
What happened? How did this world came to be? What are the figures? Ghosts? Demons?
Write more stories plox :3

n_n thankyouuu

Okay Answers to your questions:

How did this world come to be? : It's the aftermath of a nuclear apocalypse
What are the figures?: People surviving, watching over the child


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The Road Empty Re: The Road

Post by odsmk on Fri Mar 04, 2011 4:23 pm

Ever, I edited your last comment since it gave away the ending. I hope that is alright. Smile
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The Road Empty Re: The Road

Post by Yulli on Fri Mar 04, 2011 5:43 pm

I don't know, it feels to me like the adjectives were inserted to supplement the nouns, not complement them. It feels awkward reading it, for me at least.

Nevertheless, interesting plot. Great work. Smile
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The Road Empty Re: The Road

Post by Ever on Sat Mar 05, 2011 7:32 am

Yulli wrote:I don't know, it feels to me like the adjectives were inserted to supplement the nouns, not complement them. It feels awkward reading it, for me at least.

Nevertheless, interesting plot. Great work. Smile

Well, Thank-you for the constructive criticizm, and also the compliment.
I'm not sure, i re-read it, it sounds alright to me :3 and this did score me 28/30 in school n_n so i'm happy with it nevertheless
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The Road Empty Re: The Road

Post by GuymanGuy on Sat Mar 05, 2011 12:26 pm

This is 5/10 meaning average work. So average job Ever! Raise the bar by next Monday or your fired. MWUHAHAHAHA!!!!
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The Road Empty Re: The Road

Post by imstraight on Sat Mar 05, 2011 1:04 pm

Great work on this Ever, "The Road" is very well written/typed
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The Road Empty Re: The Road

Post by Ever on Mon Mar 07, 2011 9:19 pm

just went through and corrected some spelling errors i found xD
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The Road Empty Re: The Road

Post by Phantom on Mon Mar 07, 2011 9:28 pm

I'm dumb so, I don't really understand most of it. Actually I probably do but, I just don't want to sort it out. The story interested me for a while but, it was all too dark or something for me :/
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The Road Empty Re: The Road

Post by Ever on Mon Mar 07, 2011 9:33 pm

Phantom wrote:I'm dumb so, I don't really understand most of it. Actually I probably do but, I just don't want to sort it out. The story interested me for a while but, it was all too dark or something for me :/

haha, yes, it's ment to be hard to understand, it's ment to get you thinking about the story.
And yes, it is a dark story, but i like those kind of things n_n

Thanks for your feedback!
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